Amerikalog.com

“Earlier this week at the White House — historic. Barack Obama met with all three living ex-presidents and one current brain-dead president.” –Jay Leno

“Did you see the picture of all the ex-presidents? Very impressive standing there. And they all had lunch together. And Barack Obama, you know this guy is nothing if not eloquent. Barack said that the men he met with, these presidents all understood both the pressures and the possibilities of the office of the office of the presidency. But of all of them, Bill Clinton was the only one who really understood the possibilities.” –Jay Leno

“Well, here’s something good for the environment. President Bush recently declared three Pacific Ocean regions as national monuments. Again, you see, I don’t think President Bush understands the impact of some of these things. When officials told him this would create the largest marine reserve in the world, he said, ‘Great, let’s get some of them to Iraq and Afghanistan. Let’s see if we can send them over there.’” –Jay Leno

“On Tuesday, Barack Obama warned that the country could face trillion dollar deficits for years to come, in an address many said was reminiscent of Martin Luther King’s famous ‘I Had a Bad Dream’ speech.” –Seth Meyers

“All five living presidents met for a historic lunch at the White House this week. Administration officials said that the idea for the gathering came from Barack Obama and not, as originally thought, from Agatha Christie.” –Seth Meyers

“Afterwards, there was a fight over who would pay the lunch bill, but eventually they agreed they would just leave it up to future generations.” –Seth Meyers

“During the meeting, Bill Clinton was impressed by the light brown carpet in the Oval Office, saying, ‘I love this rug.’ Though he did say it would look better if it was just a thin strip down the middle.” –Seth Meyers

“Last week, Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, gave birth to a boy named Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. Apparently, they’re hoping he will grow up to be a law firm.” –Seth Meyers