Amerikalog.com

Have you seen the weather map in “USA Today”? All the states are red. It’s like a dream-come-true for Karl Rove: 50 red states. – Jay Leno
So, Al Gore if you’re watching, we give up! You were right. Now make it stop. Make it go away. – Jay Leno
John Kerry said over the weekend that if he were president the current conflict in the Middle East wouldn’t be happening because he would be more involved in the Middle East. More involved? Bush has invaded the place. How much more involved can he get than that? – Jay Leno
John Kerry said today that if he were president the current conflict in the mid east wouldn’t be happening. And then his wife Teresa Heinz said, “Yes dear, I know. Now will you take the garbage out?” – Jay Leno
Earlier today Bill Clinton was campaigning for Joe Lieberman. Clinton got everyone so worked up they could barely stay awake during the Lieberman speech. – David Letterman
“You know Ann Coulter? She was on CNBC today and she said ‘Bill Clinton is gay.’ Please, just because she’s the only woman on the planet he wouldn’t have sex with doesn’t make him gay.” –Jay Leno
“How ’bout that Saddam Hussein? I’m beginning to think the guy’s wacky. He announced that if he’s found guilty he would like to be shot. Sounds like a job for Cheney.” –David Letterman
“A Tomahawk cruise missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn’t that unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq.” –Jay Leno
“Realize if Al Gore is right and the polar ice caps do melt, the entire state of Florida would be under water and he could finally win a presidential election.” –Jay Leno