Amerikalog.com

The Senate has voted to make English the national language. More bad news for President Bush. Now he’s got to learn that. – Jay Leno
The Senate voted 63-34 to make English the official language of the United States. They say it’s a largely symbolic amendment with no real effect. You know like the congressional ethics bill. – Jay Leno
“Has anybody seen the Al Gore movie about global warming and the environment? Well, the Bush administration has seen it and they are very annoyed about the whole thing. As a matter of fact, earlier today, Dick Cheney shot a projectionist. … One very dramatic scene in the Al Gore global warming movie is when a glacier melts and they find more Al Gore ballots from the election.” –David Letterman
“A jury found former Enron sleezeballs Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling guilty of fraud and conspiracy. Ken Lay? That’s not a good name to have when you’re going to prison. And Kenny Boy ain’t too good either. … I guess in prison they’ll have done to them what they did to the stockholders.” –Jay Leno
“Well, there’s a bright side to this for Ken Lay. You know, throughout the years Ken Lay has been a big campaign contributor to the Republican Party. So now, he’ll be able to meet with those same people when he goes to prison.” –Jay Leno
“Special Council Patrick Fitzgerald has suggested that Dick Cheney could be called to testify in the perjury case of his former chief of staff, Scooter Libby. Political experts say that even if Cheney is called, he is not going to stab his friends in the back. Shoot them in the face? Yeah. But stab them in the back? No.” –Jay Leno